Battling My Mind

Been a while since I've seen you, darling reader. My life has been quite the roller coaster in the last...gosh! A year and a half. My posts on my WordPress site disappeared on me..so huge gap in posts! I don't think I really posted much in that time frame anyways.

So, what happened? My mind went on an adventure, leaving me practically house bound. You all know from previous posts I have been diagnosed with OCD. I went to my doctor last June because my intrusive thoughts were bad. I could leave the house to go to work and that was basically it. Toby would try to get me to go with him walking the dog, it was like pulling teeth, without novocaine, to step out the door.

Off to the doctor I went, finally. I passed the clinical depression test (sounds much better than failed the happiness test!) and was put on an anti-depressant. Then swapped to another one because I was tired all the time. Then she added an anti psychotic because the intrusive thoughts just kept getting worse. Then, the biggest drop in the roller coaster, I wanted to kill myself.

Thankfully, I told Toby, and he got me to tell my doctor. Since I was not literally about to kill myself, she put me into a partial hospitalization program (PHP), instead of recommending an impatient program. It helped. It was two weeks of intensive classes and psychotherapy. A new diagnosis was added as well. I have Bipolar Disorder, Type 2.

After that, I went through a 10 week class (once a week) called ACT, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. I just finished it last week. Such a revelation! It taught me to think about my conditions and my thoughts in a completely different way. (Info on ACT here, if you're interested.)

Throughout all this I have managed to keep writing in spurts. I've started a rewrite of my novel Ivory. My writing ability has grown since I first sat down to write this novel during NaNoWriMo in 2007. One thing I've learned is that all these thoughts I have, no matter how horrible they seem, I can live with them. The interesting ones I write down now. I've gotten some great outlines since I started doing this.

While my mind and I have been at odds for the last year and half (okay, longer but who's counting?), I feel that I'm nearing a peace treaty with it. We're definitely in talks, no assassination attempts in a while. There's hope I will learn to live with my mind, rather than trying to destroy it.

OCD Sharing

Life post!

Below, you will see a picture of a scan of one of my daily routine pages. I don't always follow them to the letter, but if I don't look at it, things get forgotten. Even brushing my teeth.



I don't have timers set to go off to tell me it's time to eat breakfast or anything like that. It's more of a guide. I'll get focused on something and completely forget everything around me. I get obsessed. Having these pages helps, I can look at the clock and know I'm supposed to be doing something instead of dusting all the windowsills. Or organizing the bathroom counter. Again.

I even have one labeled "Crazy Chaos Day Routines" All that one has is my early morning stuff and my evening stuff.

I'm still learning how to deal with this, how to live best. I am very thankfully I do not have OCD fully, I only have facets. The facets I have are hard enough to live with, I can't imagine what it's like with full-blown extreme OCD.

What facets do I have?

• I eat a certain way. Bascially boils down to two bites of everything in order. My drink glass almost always has to be on the left when eating out. The exception is when they seat us at a tiny table and putting it on the left greatly increases the risk of someone bumping it and knocking it over.
• I can't stand messes. When things get crazy in my life, my house gets trashed and then I can't sleep because I know it's a mess.
• Germs. I'm so thankful I can open public building doors and use bathrooms and water fountains. My issue with germs is mainly contained to raw meat. And bugs. Bugs are just bad.
• An odd food one is that when spreading anything on bread I have to cover the slice fully. Crust to crust. Jam, mayo, butter, anything.
• Not wanting to make a left turn while driving without a traffic light is annoying. We've been working on that one. I would go 10 minutes out of my way to avoid making a turn like that.
• When I am stressed out, I will put my clothes away according to type, length, and color. (That usually only happens during deployments.)
• I can't handle change. At least not very well. My brain needs time to absorb the information and realize that it really is okay. Usually only takes like 20 minutes, but I'm flipping out for those 20 minutes. (That's for same day sudden changes, if I've got more than a day, I deal much better.)
• I can't let anyone cook or clean in my kitchen. They put things in the wrong place, use the wrong knife and it's just not good. So I just don't let people. I am very upfront and tell them it's me. It's not that I don't like them, it's that having them cooking in my kitchen will drive me crazy. Even just making a sandwich.
  

Most of things people have pointed out to me. I never realized I felt the compulsion to do things until my husband would try to stop me. At first he thought it was funny. Like rearranging the sugar packets at a restaurant so the colors were all messed up. He'd see how long I could stand it before I had to fix it.

Now he realizes how much it does stress me out and it's actively trying to help me deal. Most of my compulsions are harmless. Who cares if I butter the entire piece of toast or eat two bites of everything on my plate in order? Doesn't hurt anyone, doesn't hurt me, so why try to change it?

I just have to remind myself on a daily basis that nothing is perfect, nothing will ever be perfect, so don't worry about it.

Life Related Ramblings.

I'm tired. My wrists hurt. Trying not to whine.

I'm officially taking a break from Ivory. I should set an end date for my break. How about Feb 19th? Basically a month and that's the day after my first exams.

I just finished my first week of college in the last..2 years? Been awhile. Hasn't changed all that much. One of my professors is tech crazed, the other refuses to touch a piece of it.

As to my wrists...going to get braces Monday, the old ACE bandage trick isn't working anymore. And I have an appt set with a specialist to do an EMG(Electromyography). Then we'll go from there whether we need to pursue more physical therapy or surgery.

I am all for surgery. This has been going on for years and I am just sick of it. Yes, physical therapy can ease the pain. But it comes back. Even with a proper computer set-up. My wrist will be fine, then I'll wake up in the middle of the night and everything below my elbow will be numb and tingly.

It's weird that I'm seeing college as a break from stress, but it really is. No deployment worries, writing is seeming more more fun, and my husband has been doing the housework while I'm at school. :D (He's still on leave, I'm sure the amount of help will decline when he's back at work.)

Thanks for stopping by! Feel free to leave a ':P' face in the comments at me for whining. :)

I'm Alive. And Still Writing.

Major life crisis, laptop crash and just overall life being a pain has kept me away. I think I went almost two months without writing a word.

It was horrible. To want to write but not being able to wrap your brain around it. I don't deal with stress in a healthy manner and I know that. I just never thought it would keep me from writing.

But I'm writing again.

How are the rest of you doing? I'll be popping around to say hi.

Anyone up for critiquing a sci-fi short story? I'm up for swapping.

Meg, alive and writing :)

I'm Bad at Titles

It's no secret I'm bad at titles. My first novel got it's title because I finally decided to just steal the MC's name. Blog posts aren't any better.

Excitement! I got a job! It's a good thing, I've been trying since January. It will be nice having a set schedule. It's a part-time job, with an awesome schedule. 8am till noon. How hard is that? I may start the waking up early routine to write before going to work.

Other excitement. I'm procrastinating. That's also a good thing. When I'm actively procrastinating from writing, I get more writing done then when I just ignore my computer all together.

All the other news in my life isn't so pleasant, most of it private and thankfully not directly involving me. Just indirectly involving me. I am an optimist. I see the best in people and hope till I can't hope anymore that they will be the best they can be. Just like I try to be. Doesn't happen very often I'm learning.

I go off on random tangents, but I finally finished Stephen King's On Writing. I rather liked it. I will admit it took me several reading sessions to get through it. I did better with the memoir parts over the technical parts. I will be keeping it as a reference though. Even if I just read a little random bit of it to remind myself we all have to start somewhere.

I just will not let work ruin my writing time. I love that I feel that way so intensely. I'm looking at my schedule, seeing it getting crunched for time and I am making damn well sure there is time for writing. And I love it.

It's funny. When faced with plenty of time to do whatever I wish, I get nothing done. But being faced with too many things to do, I get everything done. I guess I work better under pressure...

Back to writing reference books. I have...a few. First one I ever bought was Shrunk and White's. Love it. Sadly, I lost it so I get to buy it again. Then the order gets fuzzy, but I have Stephen King's which to me is more of a 'hey, this didn't happen over night' kind of smack on the head, I have one for editing. Writer's guide to self-editing or something like that. It's the one with text all over the cover with blue pencil marks. I have a couple more random ones that I think are for nonfiction.

What do you have in your writing closet?

Life then Writing Chatter

LIFE:
The fact that I am willing awake before 6am should tell you something about how my day is going so far. Not bad, so much as. I'm awake before 6am. Awake since 5am really. I am not a morning person. Not one little bit.

I have two giant red marks on my chin, previously zits. I have a job interview this afternoon. I have to exercise and go grocery shopping this morning. And then shower and all that fun stuff before the job interview. And I'm awake before 6am. Since 5 actually, first got woken up around 4 I believe.

This is my life during deployments. I can't give you any of the gooey details, this is way too public for that. But that's what it is. Whenever he's awake and able to just sit at the computer for a while, I'm awake too. Not that this happens all that often, but when it does, it's on days when I really could use the sleep. Totally going to suck if I do land a job, but the extra money coming in will be worth it.

And I either have a headache and runny nose from the lack of sleep/allergies, or I'm getting sick.

WRITING:
I know I started to write a post about how I finally did some writing again. I think I forgot about it and just went to bed the night before last. Short story is that I've dived back into writing. Forgot how much I loved it. I'd been stuck in 'editing only' mode. Not anymore!

I started working on a small scene for Ivory. It needed some help, mainly because it was lacking in description. Pretty sure I mentioned before that the entire novel is lacking in description. I have one part, the part I actually wrote first, that has a good amount of description. Everything else is on a description diet.

I've got my first reader helping point out where description is lacking. One chapter...it was is first note and it was for the whole chapter. That's when I decided to start back at the beginning and go though it again. I just have to break it up into scenes. I seem to do better staring at a scene then a chapter. I don't do the chapter a scene thing. My chapters range in the number of scenes.

I'm rambling.

My point is, my life is pretty crazy right now. So the fact that I managed to get my butt back to work is amazing. And I'm proud of myself for it.

Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs

Crazy week. Not even really sure what all made it seem so crazy, but I feel like this week went by so fast. This coming week isn't looking like it'll be any better. Tomorrow's packed with errands and helping a friend with stuff at her new house. Tuesday I've got my first physical therapy appointment in the morning for my knee, dinner Tuesday night with the FRG. (Army's Family Readiness Group.) Friday I'm helping another friend move into her new apartment.

So I've got Wednesday and Thursday to: finish a short story, write two quick blurbs for two other short stories, finish the chapter of Ivory I'm still working on, and get the next section of my outline for my next novel (currently calling it 'Entry Into Madness') done.

Oh and either tomorrow or Tuesday I need to finalize an event calendar for the FRG. On Tuesday night, people can look over it and give me their feedback. Then I can have it polished for the meeting in May.

I know that may not sound like much for most people, I don't have a super busy life normally. I can't honestly handle super busy all that well. I get frustrated. I'm good with organized chaos. It's when life throws wrenches into things that I get stressed.

I know what made last week seem so crazy. The car. Stupid throttle sensor went wacko making the check engine light come on and made my engine rev all funny. I freaked thinking I was going to have to drop cash into fixing it. Turns out it's still covered under warranty. :D

How do you handle stress? Or how do you cope when life throws a wrench into carefully made plans? Or anything you feel like sharing. :D

Oh My! A Post!

Even with my lack of regular posting, this was a long dry streak for me...I apologize.

Updates on me. NaNoEdMo hours sit at 31 hrs and 15mins.

Chapter wise I am done with my prologue and chapter one. I'm almost done with the new chapter two. (It's the new chapter two because the original got combined with chapter one.) I'm calling all of them my second draft. It's awesome to say that. Second draft. I never thought the first draft would end.

I did start a post about past versus present tense, but after doing some research into the topic I saw how heated the debate can get. I doubt it would get like that here, but I'd rather avoid it then risk it. I like to keep my stress to a minimum.

The main reason for my silence is that I went back to fix my prologue and it practically consumed me until I got it right. Okay not really the main reason, but at least the last week's worth of a reason. :D I just get distracted easily and don't realize how long since the last time I posted is. I think I'm going to shoot for at least one post a week. I'm not great with routine type things, but I think it'll be good for me to give it an honest try.

For my next project, I'm at the outlining stage. This time around I'm trying Lazette Gifford's phase method. She details it out in her article It's Just a Phase.

On a life note, new neighbors are moving in upstairs. It's been a noisy two days so far. I'm hoping they are all done moving furniture in and rearranging it. Normally you don't hear much from the neighbors here, but heavy furniture hitting the floor really makes a bang.

How are you all doing? (Or in my new Texas twang, Hower all ya'll doin?)

Laters,
Meg

Sleepless night wanderings--semi-rambling

I often have sleepless, or at least near sleepless nights. At least when my husband is out of the country due to work.

Tonight I ended up at my cable providers website as my cable went on the fritz around 1:30am. I have already received a reply stating they have sent the reset signal to my cable box and if the problem persists to reboot my cable box, and if it's still there, to reply back saying it still is a problem. I haven't gotten to checking to see if it works. First today (okay, yesterday) my phone service went out, only to find out it was the phone itself, not the phone service. I don't feel like dealing anymore with customer service at the moment.

On to my wanderings. I ended up on WikiHow, because I can never remember the time to cook bacon in the microwave. Yep, I eat bacon at 2 in the morning. Mainly because my awesome fry pan is dirty. Then it lead me to Make Framed Eggs, which I make a lot, don't call it that though. I call it the toast thing with the egg in the middle. Now I want to go wash that fry pan, make one while taking pictures to update the site. I've never been a big wiki fan. But I like pictures when it comes to cooking.

Then I ended up on Forward Motion. I think Forward Motion is going to become a pretty awesome site for me. The site is huge and it is a lot to take in, but there is a ton of useful information, so it's worth it.

I decided the other day I wanted to attempt to switch to the Dvorak typing set-up again. What is Dvorak? I tried out some typing exercises on a different site after switching my keyboard to the dvorak set-up. (Pretty easy, my Windows XP came with it already, just gotta turn it on. And then not look at the keys.) I did pretty well on the typing exercises, just got bored and switched back. It is much easier on my wrist. I just already am a fast touch-typer(touchtyper? touch typer? and my spell check doesn't like typer) so it is not so easy to quickly retrain my fingers and brain.

I played on Ticker Factory for a while. It is not the best for writing progress trackers, but it's got some cute stuff.

I am making slow progress on editing Ivory. I could totally make good use of my sleepless time, if I didn't feel like I should be sleeping. Basic problem is I can't sleep when I'm tired. I have to be exhausted. My brain does not work so well when tired. I don't want to risk screwing up my manuscript by editing when tried. I will however, write when tired. I can always fix it when I'm editing. :D Might just be making more work for myself later, but at least then I'm being semi productive.

I always want to vacuum when I can't sleep. I normally hate vacuuming. I live in an apartment so vacuuming at 2am is not all the good for neighborly goodwill. I can sweep and mop at least.

I am an avid to-do list maker. More often then not, they actually work and I get most of the stuff done. Sometimes though, they become the bane of my existence. I crumple the page up and chuck it in the trash with vengeance. I like adding stuff to the to-do list that is so easy or normal routine just so I can check it off. Like I sometimes put 'wake up'. Just so I can start my day by checking something off the list. :)

Alright, my wrist is done for the night. Day. Till after I sleep. Good morning!

Meg

Not Another Superbowl Post

Only thing I'm going to say about the Superbowl: The game was awesome, and the Comcast prank that I learned about today, if I had kids I'd be pissed but I don't, the prank was hilarious. Prank, hack, whatever it is being called. I don't have Comcast so I was spared the interruption of the Superbowl.


Editing while writing is WORKING. I don't lose my focus as often while I've got that red pen in my hand, and I think I am writing much better on my new piece then I did with the first one. I swear sometimes when I'm editing I stop and just shake my head. Some of the sentences I came up with. I can't believe half of the trash I wrote. I didn't really believe people that said that about their own work. But it's true. First drafts are mainly complied of junk. Especially first first drafts. This was my first ever complete novel. My first ever attempt at a novel too.

Editing by hand and then fixing it on the computer seems to be working well. While I'm fixing stuff in the word document, I'm noticing things I missed while I was page editing. This good be a good thing. :D Hopefully it will make my second read through much cleaner. So far I've only had one page that the red pen didn't touch. And it was a half page at the end of a chapter...hehe. Totally a beginning writer here. I'm just happy I really am continuing to learn and I can already see the benefit of knowing I'm not the best writer out there by a long shot.

Off to type up more fixes, later all.

Posting Often Totally Worked Out

Yeppers. I've been posting very often haven't I?

*shame*

So this is my reasserantion of my desire to maintain a blog. Why? I have no idea. Maybe because my husband is deploying soon, maybe it is because getting a job is looking more and more less likely, or maybe it is because I just feel like it.

I've got a pumpernickel bread recipe in the works. I will be attempting it tomorrow so I'l lbe sure to take pictures.

As for writing, I finished the first draft of Ivory and am now working the the first edit. I know there will at least be a second edit. And most likely a third simply because this is my first novel completed. There are a lot of things I have learned already about how to write a first draft just from the first 130 pages of editing I've done. Making sure all the basic facts about the characters are correct is a good start. And not writing scenes out of order. Unless it's all flash back stuff and it makes sense.

I want to start heavy prepping on my next project, but I can't focus on it right now. Andy's leaving soon and I am able to focus on editing Ivory so I'm happy with that.

Ivory finished at 398 pages, double spaced 12 point Times New Roman. I don't remember the word count, but after I cut the crap at the end it was under 100k. But not by much.

All I have for now. Laters

Life's little annoyances

I do complain a lot on this blog. Sorry. I try not to complain at my husband so my poor blog gets the brunt of it.


I've not written anything on Ivory since July 11. It is July 22nd now. No good excuses. Just stalled. I'm close to being done! In relative terms anyways. I've got 11 scenes left to write for my first draft to be done. At about 2-3 thousand words apiece we're looking at about 22-33 thousand more words to write. Now If i was at my goal of writing at least 1,000 words every weekday, I'd be done in 22-33 weekdays. Aug 20 - Sept4. Now I'm not at that and I know I will be unable to be at that for part of Aug even if I went into the month at that pace. So we're looking at the end of Sept, beginning of Oct. I can't do it the last half of Oct, I'm my cousins maid of honor. A.K.A. her slave from a week before the wedding until the ceremony is over. My original goal was to have a completed novel before my 22nd birthday. That is still feasible, but not completed ready for querying. Which sucks. I want to be at that point but I won't be. I'm trying my hardest and I'll keep trying that hard. If I'm at least done my first revision/edit by then I'll be happy.

Lesson for today: Goals are wonderful motivators. Sometimes.

Outlook looks good

So far so good with July. Got everything done yesterday that I wanted to, and its still early today to get things done. Laundry is going, I'll be working on Ivory after I post this, then editing my current short story, followed by dishes probably, then maybe working on another short story idea that was spawned by NaNoCoMotion. And the gym. It is still early enough I am willing to go today. One twenty minute word war away and I'll see if I'll go. The thought of once I reach my goal I'm going to the gym may cause me writing problems. I don't know, we'll see. I don't dare go to the gym first, I know myself, I'll never settle down to write with any amount of focus.

Laters
Meg

Gah. I need a day off. No stressing about anything. Not allowed to worry about money, my weight, cleaning, family (really meaning the in-laws), not allowed to freak out about my writing instead of getting an normal job. Not allowed to stress out about anything. Now if a day like that was ever actually possible, I'd be in heaven for that day. Of course the only way one of these magical days would happen is if it was a weekend, I turned the phone, tv, and computers off all day long. No driving anywhere, just staying home with nothing on. How likely is that to happen? Not. Never. Oh and turning cell phones off. Yeah. See. Oh and not allowed to play on my ds. I think thats it. Gah. Today is still a bad day. Has been all week. I dislike life right now. I'll get over it and I know it. It helps knowing that because then I don't feel like I've hit rock bottom, but it still sucks feeling worthless. I tell my husband when I feel like this, he tells me I'm being silly and everything's okay. I believe him. My mind just won't. Its annoying.

Titleless

Blah. Life is life. I always have these ups and downs with my writing and it drives me crazy. I have good days, decent days, okay days and down right shitty days. Today and yesterday are/were shitty writing days. The fact that I had to convince myself to post at all on here is a clear indicator. I've got a short story almost ready to submit to a magazine. Almost. The magazine wants a cover letter with a short bio. Haven't done that. The story is done, but is about 55 words short of their 2000-3000 word range. So I wonder, will those 55 words matter? Is my story good enough to stand on its own without those 55 words? Will my submission be automatically rejected for being under 2000 words? What do they want from me in my bio? I have no writing credits so I can't add those, I have nothing relevant to add that would help sell my story. I know not to put my specs like a dating website. I'm a 5'5", blond haired blue eyed writer who would love to she her work in your magazine. Yeah. That wouldn't go over well. I know not to say, I'm a new writer, this is my first ever submission and would you please oh pretty please publish me?

End rant.

Edit: I can tell it was late for me. Its not 55 words short, it's 455 words short. I'm guessing 455 words short matters much more than 55 words short.

Life without Andy

No he didn't leave me or anything like that, hes just not here, hes up North for his brother's graduation. So I'm all alone down here. I've discovered that I don't like him being gone. It stresses me out to no end. And I'm not eating regularly, which is never a good thing.

I am trying to write a tone while hes gone, but last night my wrist started rebelling against typing. So either I've got to learn real quick how to type fast one handed, or I've got to take it slow. Phooey. I am planning on making those sour cream cookies sometime this week...the kitchen is just still a mess from when he left. I haven't gotten the urge to tidy it completely yet, mostly because I do feel so ill. I went shopping for food yesterday only to discover my stomach will not settle with most foods I eat. I'm on the cracker diet at the moment, not willingly.

Sunshine

Every morning I do my best to get out in the sun for a little bit. I don't go all out in a bikini to tan myself, but I let myself get some sun for a good 15-30 minutes every morning. Like Friday morning, it was bright and sunny on our patio at 8:50am. I went out for a good 25 minutes. I may have burnt my ears a little, but it was so nice and it always starts my day off great.

I made an earlier post about cloudy days, it is true, they mess with me like crazy. I love sunshine in the morning, it starts my day off wonderfully.

Going to try to get a nap in, we're leaving at 3am to get him to the airport in time to make it through security.
Laters
Meg

I dislike making titles

Just emailed my father, telling him I can't come to his wedding simply because plane tickets are too expensive. Which is 100% true. It'd be like 400 bucks just for me to fly up for the weekend. I don't know about him, but we don't have any extra cash laying around anymore. We did, but not anymore. That is what really sucks. We actually had money in savings, but the way things keep getting more expensive, and the need to buy plane tickets for other things that were planned way in advance compared to his wedding totally depleted our savings. I think there may be about 100 dollars in there. Money is tight. For everyone I know. This is when I wish I was a trust fund baby. But my life would be totally different if I was so, really I don't. I love my life and wouldn't change it. Yeah it sucks sometimes, but I still love it.

Cloudy Days

They bother be greatly in the mornings. More often than not, I want to be able to sit out on our little patio for a good 15 minutes in the nice morning sunshine. Today, its cloudy with little bits of sunshine poking through for seconds at a time. Some days I wake up and want it to be downpouring. But I usually want the sun. My day always starts out better when I get to sit in the sun for a little bit.
Cloudy mornings also make my to-do list look insanely long. Now don't get me wrong, I love cloudy days in the afternoons, it generally keeps it cooler this time of year. But in the mornings, when its already cooler, it sucks.
Short post for me this morning. I might post more later, but I've got some catch up writing to do.

Later
Meg

My Current Projects

As of right now I have one major writing project underway, and three small ones.
I've got a large crochet project, and a large for me cross stitch project I'm doing for my cousins wedding.
I know theres more but that is all I can think of at the moment.

My main focus is my novel. Thats my major project. Its called Ivory and is currently about 76,000 words long and about 1/3 complete. I've got a full outline and almost every chapter is at least started with a small blurb. I try to write at least 1,000 words every day. On a normal good day, I do it with no problem. How often do I have normal good days? every other week or so. I'll be going good for 3 days then hit a rock. I get thrown off course for a week, then get back on track. It is very annoying and frustrating but I have come to learn fighting it only makes it worse. I lose focus very easily, especially when I am feeling even the slightest bit ill. We're talking a minor headache and its all over. Plus I really cannot wait to go back and start editing it. I've been working on it for about seven months now. It is my first novel so it is taking longer than I wish it would. I'm hoping to be done with this first draft by August 1st.
By editing I mean printing out each and every page and attacking it with a red pen, highlighters and those flag post-its. I love post-its, they are just so expensive! I want to get those ones that are shapes, but I can't bear spending 5 bucks for sticky notes that I rarely do use. I've got two packs of the large flags so I'll be using those. I want to edit it so badly because I can see areas that need to be fixed, there are parts that need to be edited because I wrote scenes out of order so now some people are in scenes that shouldn't be there. I really think I'll edit those before printing it off, because I know where they are and there is no point in printing out pages I know have to be totally rewritten anyways.
Once I print it out, I will so take a picture to post on here. Its going to be a massive stack of paper.
I've got a short story that I really need to finish writing, I just...never get to it. I'm horrible at forcing myself to do things, even when I like doing then and or know its good for me. Same is true for my cross stitch project for my cousin's wedding. Its going to be a cute wedding thing for them. I have it all planned out and the thread sorted. I have started it. I've working on it that one time...at least the wedding isn't until Oct. I've got time. Really should only take me about 3 or 4 hours to do, I just know I probably cannot sit and work on it straight for that long. Eye strain and all.
As for crochet, I am trying to start a baby blanket. Hopefully for me and my husband. We aren't planning on trying for children for about 4 more years at least. But you never know. Plus, I know three people getting married this year so I figure having one started would be good to have on hand.
So whose getting married?
My cousin Daphne is marrying Ben on Oct. 24th.
My father is marrying is girlfriend of...2 years? on Aug. 8th.
My husbands friend and my friends, Joe and Linda on Aug. 27th.

Which of these weddings are we going to as a couple? None. Nice right?
I'm going to my cousins wedding as her maid of honor solo, theres no way he'll get the leave. Maybe a four day pass, but even if, the plane fare will be insane. My dads wedding, just learned about it and same problem, no leave and plane tickets. Joe and Linda's we simply don't know yet. They live close enough we can drive up. My husband might be able to get a pass. If so, we'll hopefully be going to theirs, even if just for the reception, (the church charges by the amt of people showing up. weird right?).
Oh and, who's engaged?
So far I think it is just my sister and James, they've been dating for 4 years and don't plan to get married until shes done college, another two years. My cousin Ian was engaged, but that one didn't work out. Oh! Debbie is at least seriously committed if not engaged yet. Shes been very out of contact lately, I don't blame her. :D That reminds me of a wicked yummy dessert recipe she gave me. I'll have to post that one.
Thats it for now I think, later gators!
Meg